Sometimes I Feel Like an Any-a-Gram

On Being a Random Abstract Processor + A Gathering of Oddments

I hate it that I am so sporadic, inconsistent, not persistent,

         no straight-ahead-in-a-line-to-the-finish.

I’m distracted, side-tracked, stops and starts,

mis-matched piles, can’t remember the whats and whens.

No perfect files, labeled loudly

      I  A M  I N  C O N T R O L.

I feign at neatness, completeness escaping me

ever in process, a mess in the making.

Oh, why can’t I be like those orderly others,

those finishers perfectly packing their lives in a box,

the rank and file, who smile at me, “Oh poor thing,

she’s so erratic.” 

Well—I am resigned to the whole of me,

my hits and misses marking a difference,

scattering joy, seeds abound.

I cannot (do not) go in a straight line—

Random A to B then on to Z.

(Sequences only happen on a test.)

And life is an actual emergency

(not a test).

I like this formula better:

A cubed to D once plus E squared

then back to A and jump to N, then

who-knows-what?

I’m the only one

who can spell my life.

God created us with many different ways to think our thinks, just like He created all these colorful gourds. (Thank you Safeway. I love fall!)

One of the most liberating discoveries I made as an adult (i.e. age 40) was learning about the way I was wired to think and process the world. The information gave me what I needed to be a better teacher at the time and helped me understand my students more thoroughly; in other words, it changed my life. Seriously.

I am a Random Abstract Global Processor. (See Dr. Anthony Gregorc’s Learning Styles Delineator¹). When I’m taking in new ideas and information it usually swirls around in my head like pieces in a patchwork quilt, the edge or frame of the quilt being The Thing That is Being Talked About/Main Idea/Goal. I put all the pieces together, fitting them in when and where they need to go, and Voila! there’s usually a completed quilt when I’m done.

So Abstract. So Random. I know.

That’s how I process the input. Everything All at Once/Very Big Picture-ish, seeking for the way all the pieces are connected and relate to each other. Also, especially when I'm encountering new information and need to concentrate, I usually doodle, underline, circle and draw or (if I can ) move while I’m listening.

Communicating what I know or have learned is the output—and oh, that’s a challenge. Why? Because most of the world runs on Straight in a Line, Sequential Analytical ideas, especially when it comes to How to Write (or How to Substack, or How to Get new Subscribers or How to fill-in-the-blank). Follow these ten things, do them in order, check this off, etc. and you will reach your goal.

My brain doesn’t work like that so it makes communicating what's inside my head in a way that you can understand it involves some effort. Which I am okay with.

It’s taken me a long time to live into this realization, learning to advocate for what works best for me, not in a selfish way but in a way that communicates how/what I’m thinking.

The best part? The older I get, the more comfortable I’m becoming in my own skin, making room for the creative ways God wired me to think and write and process the world.

But I need a lot of self-reminders along the way, leaning into what fits me best. Thus, the poem above, Sometimes I Feel Like an Any-a-Gram.²

Maybe you need that reminder today, too.

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ICYMI—In Case You Missed It—a FREE Resource

So, did I mention that people like checklists and plans? And that life doesn’t always go according to plan?³ But frameworks and outlines help.

Usually I organize my thoughts when I’m writing—especially a poem or essay—via webs or mind maps, with the main idea in the middle and spokes coming out to my various ideas.

How I Self-Published my First Poetry Book + A Free Resource for You

Last week I wrote here on Poetry & Made Things about my experience self-publishing my first poetry book, and for those who are more linear/sequential give-me-all-the-checklists-thinkers, I created A 12 Month Checklist to Self-Publishing your Book to help those who are interested in the process for themselves.

Whether you’re a newbie writer just starting out or have a completed manuscript to share with the world, this One-Year Road Map will help you with your journey. The four page checklist is a Month-by-Month plan from Behind-the-Scenes prep work to Book Launch Party. I hope you'll find it helpful; it is truly a labor of love.⁴

In case you missed it (or the link was a little wonky) you can grab your One Year to Self-Publishing Checklist by clicking the button below.

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On the Cusp of Autumn

The maple tree samaras are beginning their helicoptered descent to the lawn below. Chickadees and nuthatches zoom in to feast on the season’s last dandelions. A latent lavender rose appears in the garden and my second-bloom primroses remind me they’re still awake. The zinnias and cosmos continue their shocking pink surprise.

I’m standing on the deck with a view to the neighbors and spy September’s windflower anemones gracing the breeze. One last salvia remains in the perennial bed, small vermillion trumpets providing food for the busy flying jewels of our resident hummers.

I bank the colors in my memory like Frederick the Mouse, preparing for autumn and winter’s empty skies and barren trees, wistful, waiting, wondering.

The change of season is a welcome—slower days and less loud to-do’s on my neverending list. Thank goodness for Creation’s reminder to ready ourselves for a time of rest and quiet.

Nature is indeed God’s noisiest orator.

Happy Almost Officially Fall, wherever you are~

Talk soon,

Jody

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1. Google is your friend here. Gregorc is not a Christian; his worldview is new-ageish, tbh.

2. I’m a 7; but I bet you guessed that. Marilyn Vancil’s book “Self to Lose, Self to Find” was my introduction to the Enneagram; I am now working my way through “Beyond the Enneagram: An Invitation to Experience a More Centered Life with God,” her newest, Jesus-centered book on the subject.

3. Our refrigerator/freezer died last week. The new one we ordered did not fit. We are shopping again. Proof that life indeed does not go according to plan.

4. If you’ve ever considered independent publishing or want to discuss your current work in progress, I’m offering 30 minute Clarity Calls for $47 to a limited number of clients. After our Zoom call you will leave with three tangible next steps and a cheerleader in your corner, me. Reach out today using this link and let’s chat! The tagline on my website says ‘Author|Poet|Teacher,’ and the teacher in me enjoys helping others learn, hence this offering for you. I would be honored to brainstorm with you what God has put on your heart.

I’m also offering One Time Manuscript reviews—Fiction, Non-Fiction or Poetry—for $149, providing project feedback on voice, theme and organization. Here’s the link to connect about your project. Note: These two prices are changed from the initial cost in my post last week; I thought $47 and $149 were much better adapted and more accessible to folks.

5. Your support will go directly to my fancy pencil fund, and paper for my printer, as well as my writer's conference fund ($499 by Jan 15th.)