How to Stay Married-A Poem

Celebrating Fifty-One Years

You can listen to me read this poem by clicking on the arrow above, with crows and crackling background :-)

Fourth of July, Snoqualmie Ridge Park, WA 2024. jlcollins

Sheet Music—How to Stay Married*

Marvel at God’s persistence to return you (often) to a place

Of surrender and beginning again. And again. And again.

Be awed continually at His patience—and that of your spouse.

(How could you be so lucky?)

Give thanks for the grace offered countless times when your

Stupid self wanted to give up and you determined instead to stay.

Stand amazed that you both survived the upheaval of the

Seventies, that tectonic time of God’s Kingdom bursting

Forth, leaving you newborn yet simultaneously orphaned,

Led by manmade whimsy down a selfish, shortsighted path.

Bless God for His pursuit always, that Psalm of goodness

And mercy that’s trailed you for five decades, the melody

That’s offered harmony, dissonance and counterpoint

(oh, the dissonance!)

Note the crescendo and diminuendos, honor the moving

Composition heading towards its resolve, but not yet.

The orchestra plays and you cup your ear, eyes on the program

Before you. The conductor, baton in hand, leads you on

As you lean in close and compose the rest of your lives.

There are movements to come—a decade more? Who’s to say?

Stay married.

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Our daughter L. and son in law W. gave us this collage last year for our 50th. Who are those people???

July 14th my husband and I will celebrate 51 years of marriage, which I wanted to commemorate with this poem filled with verbs and music metaphors. Also, July 14th is Bastille Day which reminded me of fireworks, for some reason. (Did they blow things up that day? I’m guessing so…..) God’s song over our lives has always been a refrain in my life, Zephaniah 3:17 running as an undercurrent throughout my walk with Jesus; hence the musical nods in these verses.

When we tell people we’ve been married more than 50 years, we’re often asked, “What’s your secret?” My response more often than not that God’s grace is the only glue that works in putting two broken people together…and it takes a loooooong time to do that. When two people are committed to that, the staying is worth it.

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*Dear Reader, I am well aware many of you find yourselves in challenging marriages currently or are no longer married or have remarried, for whatever God-ordained reason. This poem reflection is not a statement of opinion about divorce or marriage, but a written astonishment of just how wide and deep God's love is for all of us.