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Serene's avatar

I smell cigarette smoke

And remember….

Sitting on my father’s lap

Camel cigarettes in his pocket

Snuggled on the recliner

Watching t.v.

I see a tall man

And remember….

Standing three steps up

To hug my dad goodbye

Every morning

As he left for work.

I hear an old song

And remember….

Borrowing my dad’s radio

To listen to music

Before giving it back

So he could hear the news.

I attend a funeral

And remember….

Chatting with friends

At age twelve

As yet so unaware

Of my great loss.

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nancyaruegg.com's avatar

The love for God and joy of heart you exude now, Jody, belie the suffering you endured in your young, formative years. Praise God for his transformative power!

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Jody L. Collins's avatar

Oh Nancy, thank you for your kind words. And you are right, God is continually transforming us. Praise His name for that.

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Sara Oyela's avatar

Such imagery…

“…memories vanished as lost years spanned

the distance between each shore.”

“He never crossed over again.”

It’s painful. I think of lost years of different things in my life. I thank God that I have been and am able to recognize those things, and for the chance of redemption. My dad never left our family, but he was busy with work and wasn’t very affectionate. It left a hole in my heart. In my early 20s, I was able to talk with him about it and he apologized and explained some things about himself. It was a great reconciliation and we had a satisfying relationship after that. I wasn’t ready for him to leave forever in 2023. If we can, I think it’s so important and great to have reconciliation and redemption in different areas of our lives.

Your poem is beautiful, provoking, real, and relatable, Jody. I love that you call it memoir.

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Jody L. Collins's avatar

Oh Sara what a tender memory and a testimony to God's faithfulness. Reconciliation and Redemption is all wrapped up in what Jesus has done for us indeed.

I've been thinking more about writing my memoir someday as poems...

Thank you so much for reading; I appreciate your kind comments.

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Jennifer Wagner's avatar

I remember this one, Jody, as I felt it deeply. And "deep" is what it brought to mind. Our deep wounds are opportunities to know God deeper. He does make all things work together for our good and wants to draw us to Him to experience Him in those places of deep woundings. I love your post~

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Jody L. Collins's avatar

Jennifer, thank you so much friend for the affirmation and reminder of God's faithfulness to heal our deep wounds.

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Laura B.'s avatar

This is such a lovely poem, Jodi. Stirs the deep feelings. This series is perfect timing for Lent.

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Timothy's avatar

I am sure many of us hold those same memories, either from faking sleep in front of the tv, or after a long car ride. The turn your poem takes is therefore even more tragic. Thanks for revisiting those experiences and feelings with us.

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